Our seven Chief Ministers (CMs) recently met with Oli dai and vented their frustration on not being able to be our Maharajas in the provinces. Oli has promised full support to our CMs when it comes to giving them the funds, authority and human resources to allow the provinces to run their show. But Oli knows very well that as a politician, he is better at giving assurances rather than fulfilling the promises he makes.

Sher Dhan Rai (UML) – Province 1.

Our Mayors think they have the final say in their municipalities. Our Chief Ministers think they get to run the whole show in their provinces while folks at the federal government know very well that they will be running the show and they will make sure to undermine the power of the elected representatives at the lower levels.

Mohammad Lal Babu Raut of the SSF-N – Province 2

We have no one to blame but our civil servants for this mess. Our hakim sahebs should have done their homework and finalized everything before we had conducted our elections. They should have advised our good for nothing clowns that we need to first build a bridge so that we can cross the river easily instead of jumping into the river, hoping that the strong current will carry us across to the other side.

Dormani Poudel (CPN-UML) – Province 3

We know that our politicians are clowns who really know nothing about governance and rule of law. They are in it only for the money but our civil servants should know better. After all, these buffoons have been around since the days of the so-called democrats, then the Gyanu Uncle ‘Happy Hour’ days and now the federal rip-off-the-public show.

Prithvi Subba Gurung (CPn-UML) – Province 4

Our civil servants are the ones who help our clowns to run the system efficiently but it seems that in our land, our sarkari hakims are the ones who wants to create obstacles everywhere for their own benefit while making our lives miserable. And politicians are ignorant fools who would rather listen to a hakim saheb who can bring some dough rather than the ones who really want to do something good for this country.

Shankar Pokhrel (UML) – Province 5

Our netas were in a hurry to get done with our local, provincial and federal elections so that they could pat themselves on their backs for getting done with the election nataks. Prachanda and Deuba acted like they deserved a Nobel Prize for conducting our elections. Will they also take responsibility for the failure of the government to provide adequate resources, staff, infrastructure and legal authority at the local, provincial and federal levels?

Mahendra Bahadur Shahi (CPN-Maoist Centre) – Province 6

It seems that our civil servants are still not ready to head to the provinces and carry out their duties. And our provincial lawmakers know very well that they are in a difficult position when it comes to naming the provinces and deciding the capital as well.

We will see many unhappy folks burning tyres, destroying public property once our provincial government decides on the capital and name for our provinces. Hope, our provinces have enough fire engines and security personnel ready to control the protesters and their violent nataks.

Trilochan Bhatt (Maoist Centre) – Province 7

On paper, our Chief Ministers are almighty and powerful but they are still not being able to misuse their authority to enrich themselves and their cousins and that’s what seem to piss them off. Yes, our Chiefs have vented their frustration to Oli for not being able to ride around in new vehicles.

Our Election Commissioners are riding around in luxury vehicles but our elected representatives who now have the authority to lead their respective provinces have to do with old vehicles for now. Give our Chief Ministers new luxury vehicles and drain a few more Rupees from our State Treasury. And we need millions more to provide housing to our Chief Ministers and his mantris as well.

Our provincial governments don’t even have permanent offices for our Chief Ministers and his courtiers. How long will they be housed in other government offices? We don’t even have residences and offices for our mantris. We don’t even have a building to gather our provincial lawmakers to decide on the future of our provinces. We don’t even know how we will fund the costs of all these nataks?

We have yet to find a politician who wants to save us a few Rupees. Don’t be surprised if our ward chairperson starts to demand a vehicle to drive around their wards to check for potholes. It seems that those in power just want free lunch and make us pay for it. Why can’t they pay for their lunch sometimes? Why do our thulo mancheys need luxury vehicles. Fuel and repair costs are high for these vehicles. Why not go green and buy electric vehicles instead?

Sophia, a humanoid robot was in town and she seems to have higher IQ than most of our politicians. A robot sees lots of potential and possibilities for the people and the country of Nepal. Maybe, PM Oli should ask the company from Hong Kong to make another robot for the Prime Minister’s Office.

I think it will save us time and money in the long run and the robot will probably give better advice to whoever lives in Baluwatar rather wasting millions on hiring dozens of advisors.


This article is written by Guffadi who is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

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