Our Prime Monster-in-waiting Oli Dai tells us that the government should allow ‘underground money’ to be brought above ground so that our land will finally be prosperous after we get billions of dollars of black money back into the economy.

And that ‘black’ money can be used to open ‘white’ medical colleges in every ward in this country and whoever is in charge of approving the files for our medical mafia can pocket Karods of Rupees which will go back to our hakim sahebs and chor netas.

If our government had done its job in the first place then our state treasury would have billions of dollars from taxes paid by the byaparis. But in this land of ours, tax officials help our byaparis to evade taxes by offering them discounts and the chiya karcha goes to our civil servants and chor netas instead of going into our rastra ko dhukuti.

That’s how the system works and if you can make some money as a civil servant for our netas then you get promoted or transferred to lucrative posting.  If you are an honest civil servant then you will climb the ladder when your time comes but you will be spending most of your time either doing nothing or be sent to our rural areas to enjoy the sceneries.

If you can make some money as a political cadre for our netas then you will get the ticket to stand up for elections or be appointed as thulo mancheys in our government agencies. It doesn’t matter if you have been a loyal cadre for decades and do believe in your party and want to do something good for the country. When it comes to evaluating your performance by the party bosses, money matters the most, integrity doesn’t even figure in the list.

But if we look at the root of the problem, the blame lies with our civil servants. They are the ones who run the system and can make our elected representatives look like fools. They are the ones who teach our mantris how to make money from government contracts and if they don’t like the mantris then they go on medical leave and leave the netas hanging.

If every corrupt chors, con artists and contractors decided to disclose their ‘illegal’ funds then the government might have enough dough to run this country for at least a decade or two. Oli thinks that the reason behind low investment in our land is because many people are afraid to dig out their money from their backyards and deposit in our banks or invest in any sectors.

Well, somebody needs to remind Oli that most of the investments in this land comes from our byaparis who have successfully evaded taxes with the help of our own tax officials and many bideshis do invest in this land with the help of Nepalis to turn their ‘black money’ into white.

And what about our politicians who spend Karods of Rupees in elections but don’t have to disclose the source of their campaign contributions at all? At least the tax-evading byaparis pay taxes in some ways, even if it’s less than what they ought to pay but when will our civil servants and corrupt clowns pay taxes on their ‘chiya kharcha’ as well?

Our banks want us to disclose the source of our cash when the transaction hits above a million Rupees. Our government would not be pressuring anyone to disclose their money if they hadn’t received any pressure from the international bodies. Yes, that’s how our government works.

The World Bank, IMF, UN and our foreign embassies can threaten our government and then only our politicians will come up with a law to fight money laundering or other laws in this country. Yes, our government, netas and civil servants only listen to the bideshis but when we shout out loud, they don’t hear us because we don’t have boras of dollars to offer to our chors.

But the funny thing is that most of our civil servants and politicians have illegal money and have somehow used the ‘hundi’ system to send funds overseas. No wonder, their kids have bought apartments in the West in cash!

Oli tells us that black money in this country should be allowed to be laundered and the government can tax such illegal money.  Yes, that’s a great idea but only if our politicians and political parties get their act right and submit their own financial details on time and not the fake ones but real actual hisab kitab!

Yes, let’s start from the top. Let’s start from our chor netas and hakim sahebs. Then, we can move to our byaparis, contractors and other con artists. We, the common folks don’t make enough to even save a few Rupees and we really don’t have to worry about disclosing our source of cash in the bank unless one day, your uncle becomes the mantra and you get the chance to become his PA.

But of course, the law would not apply to our lawmakers and civil servants. After all they are our lawbreakers and they seem to think that they are always above the law. Unless, our political parties are transparent when it comes to their financial dealings, we cannot expect other evil doers to finally have a change of heart, repent and pay taxes in this country.

Our Emperor tells us that he doesn’t own much stuff, a few tolas of gold and land. But he can spend Karods of Rupees to make sure that he and his daughter wins from Chitwan. Our Maharaja from Dadeldhura is probably worth billions of Rupees but he will show his wife’s wealth or his land back in his home district and tell us that he has not stole a penny from the State. Yes, we all believe him too.

If we do allow Oli to have his way when it comes to providing amnesty to all then we can expect our security forces and our comrades to be happy because then, we won’t have to hold anyone accountable for the crimes committed against innocent civilians both by the State and our comrades!  We can allow our smugglers and mafias to make their black money white and live happily ever after.

And for us, the common ‘invisible’ folks, we can continue to go overseas and make a few Dinars so that our families can at least afford two meals a day and clothes and of course, a smartphone or two as well.

This article is published with permission from Guffadi who is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

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